How to Optimise Our Relationships in Lockdown, with Psychologist, Kate Moyle
The lockdown restriction rules have taken a toll on our emotions and how we communicate not only with each other, but with ourselves.
We are delighted to have Psychotherapist Kate Moyle join us to discuss how we can optimise our relationships whilst in lockdown, in detail.
Click here to watch the full Instagram Live.
G: Good morning, Kate, and thank you for joining us today. We understand that you work as a relationship therapist. We are interested to hear more!
I am a psychosexual and relationship therapist, and I also host a podcast called the sexual wellness sessions. On a day to day basis, I focus on talking therapy between couples and individuals to help with any difficulties, challenges or changes that they want to make specifically in their sex lives. This is a specialist branch of therapy and psychotherapy, with a focus on sex; it is a corner of psychotherapy where we can really hone in on these difficulties, from trauma to desire, operation recovery, romance issues, miscarriage, and so much more! There is no limit to what we can cover in this work. It is simply a place where the taboo of sexuality is dismissed.
Who comes to see me? Normal people with normal problems! Sex is still highly stigmatised, and sexual problems can happen behind the scenes a lot of the time, and people do not know how to reach out for help. This can have a knock on effect on self esteem and self confidence.
G: Before we delve in, we believe that it is so important to address postpartum health accurately. At the moment, there are many limitations around how social we can be due to lockdown, and this can cause an overwhelm in emotion when just having a baby. How can mothers improve their relationships with themselves, as well as with their children?
With regards to motherhood, I think social media has been brilliant for this as it has played a role in pulling back the image of the perfect mother who is not struggling and is always happy, and actually, we are finally seeing more realistic versions of motherhood; I see content and say “thank God I’m not the only one”. There is a lot of good that can come out of it; I believe this diverse representation of motherhood is so important.
G: We understand that there is no one root cause to relationship issues, however do you believe that the quality of nutrition has a role to play in this?
I believe that diet can be more of a representation of how one is looking after themselves, or if they are using food as a coping mechanism. I look at patterns and understand the feeling behind a certain behaviour. When it comes to couples for example, it can be easy to slip into bad habits around eating. It is so common that we grab our meals, have them in separate rooms and at separate times, and most usually they are now spent with our digital devices rather than with our families and partners. Meal times can be a really vital time to connect and talk.
Mindful eating can be really helpful. Mindfulness is a large part of psychotherapy as it allows one to escape their thoughts and really focus on the root of how they think. This can encourage more meaningful communication to be had at the dining table.
G: Going beyond nutrition, what other practices can people incorporate into their lives in order to bring peace within each of their relationships?
When it comes to relationships, simply understanding that relationships take work and we have to work on them together is so important. Also, becoming conscious of the fact that no relationship is constant, and we undergo different phases.
Accountability is also important! With wellbeing, certain practices can be used as quality time together. This can be through a run, cooking a nourishing meal, yoga, and more.
G: At Kurami, we are passionate about sharing the message on self love and balance as much as we can, especially as we are a food-focused business. We ensure that all of our meals are nutritionist-approved, with flavours innovated by our team of chefs to make our service enjoyable, balanced, and wholesome. How do you think our service can be a helpful tool for those out there to help ease them of stress and enhance their lives?
Maintenance is the hardest part of the change process. In the beginning, we are motivated and we feel really good once we see results, however progress begins to level off, and we no longer get the same high or sense of achievement. With Kurami’s nutritious meal plans, you take away the effort of maintenance, making nourishment much easier.
The education part of Kurami is massive! It really makes a difference. I help people make informed choices and informed decisions, which is why I launched a podcast! I wanted to normalise conversation on a wider scale.
G: Before we end our IG Live, what are three top tips that you can share with our viewers towards nurturing their relationships with the people around them, as well as their relationship with food?
One that is quite relevant to lockdown is to not treat all of the time spent together at home house as quality time. Try to make time for actual quality time! Gary Chapman talks about the five love languages, and if you want to do something more proactive, discovering what each other’s love languages are can be productive as this can help you both further understand your style of displaying affection.
Talk it out! And when doing so, start a conversation positively rather than with a criticism to help prevent being met with defensive behaviour. Use positive and affirmative language.
Lastly, give each other a break with regards to our current situation. Find simple ways of breaking lockdown routine, and making conscious time for communication, eye contact, touch, or any form of attention and bonding.
With a diverse range of relationships explored, from motherly relationships to intimate relationships, Kate was able to excellently discuss relationships in detail and how we can tackle any issues that are particularly rooted from the isolating effects of lockdown.
Click here to learn more about Kate Moyle’s services as a psychotherapist.
At Kurami, allow us to ease your lockdown worries by delivering balance to your doorstep. We provide nutritionist-approved, chef crafted meals that are freshly prepared with love in London.