Navigating self love, and maintaining your worth whilst in a relationship, with Sabi Kerr
Love is a complex emotion. Sharing with and growing love for another person is a beautiful experience. However, it can be difficult. This week, we were joined by certified Self Love Coach, Sabi Kerr. She helped us answer questions on self love, how it can be practiced, and it’s great impact on the relationship that we have both with our significant other, as well as ourselves.
- Good morning, Sabi, and thank you for joining us today! You are an amazing self love coach, and we love the content that you create. Would you like to talk more about your speciality?
I am a self love coach and I guide women to love themselves! I work with people to cultivate deep levels of self love and worth, so they can feel unstoppable in everyday life as well as in their business. Self love really is a powerful foundation for anyone.
- What began your journey to self love?
For me, self love is this radical acceptance of ourselves as we are right now--knowing that we are enough as we are. The society that we live in profits off of us not loving ourselves; it profits off of us not knowing our worth, in order for us to consume more things in order to feel worthy and loveable. Self love is a homecoming to who we have always been and to who we truly are. It allows the stripping away of what society wants us to be, and exploring inwards to discover what has always been there.
My journey was more of a natural unfolding, it was not immediate. The term self love can now sometimes feel slightly cliche or commercialised, but the self love journey is the same as your self development journey. It really is just getting to know yourself better and gaining a deeper understanding of who you are.
I have been in many different career paths, from studying economy in university, to being a dancer and a preschool teacher! I explored many different roots, however I eventually came to yoga, and I found something that I wanted to teach and share with people. The more I started to teach yoga, I found that there was a deeper level that I wanted to take people to rather than solely through a sixty minute yoga class in London. I began coaching, and the more that I coached women one-to-one, it became apparent to me that no matter what I was coaching my clients on, the strongest element of their self love journey was discovering their worth. I really began to hone in on this piece.
- As Valentines Day has just passed, as much as those who may be feeling an overwhelming sense of love, some may either be feeling a sense of loneliness or frustration from this holiday due to the expectations that we can place around it. What is your take on this?
There are definitely a few layers to this piece. It is totally okay if the feelings of frustration and loneliness are there! I love myself deeply, and I also feel a sense of frustration and loneliness at times. This serves as a reminder that I am human, and I see all emotions as sacred and as valid. These unveil what our desires are. You can love yourself deeply and desire love and intimacy; they do not rule each other out. The struggles, however, do come when you desire that intimacy to fill a void. I also know that my desire to feel intimacy does not root from trying to fill something within myself. I believe that it is important to be mindful from where this desire is coming from.
- For those who are on the lookout for a partner or those who are currently in a relationship, it can be easy for self care to become less of a priority as one’s energy can start to be drawn to their significant other. What is your advice to maintaining a strong, loving relationship with yourself, and why is this important whilst in or before entering a relationship?
It is so important to not get so wrapped up in the relationship that you lose yourself and self-abandon. Open communication is really important; when this is present, you can discuss your desires and needs to the other person, especially as when we are in a relationship, we tend to abandon our personal needs, wants, and desires due to our fear of conflict or rejection. Open communication and expressing your truth are vital practices to encourage deeper self worth from within.
- What are a few of your favourite practices to bring back the feeling of empowerment and confidence?
This is not specifically to do with relationships, however these are practices that you can do by yourself! Any practice that you can bring your body into, I really enjoy! Meditation where your hands are connected to your body, dancing, mirror work, affirmations in front of the mirror--any practices that really encourage you to be with you and on a deeper level are ones that I would strongly recommend.
- At Kurami, we are passionate about sharing the message on self love and balance as much as we can, especially as we are a food-focused business. We ensure that all of our meals are nutritionist-approved, with flavours innovated by our team of chefs to make our service enjoyable, balanced, and wholesome. Do you believe that nutrition plays a role in self love?
Absolutely! What you put into your body is everything. Your body is your vessel. If you are not feeling good within yourself, this will reflect in the work that you do, your relationships, and more.
Self love through nutrition, however, must not be restrictive and be more intuitive. When you focus on being intuitive with the foods that you really need at that moment, most of the time these are more nourishing choices as our bodies crave what makes us feel our best. We need to release the labels from good or bad, stop the restriction cycle, and simply listen to our bodies.
- What are your three takeaways that you can share with our audience today with regards to learning how to put yourself first, and remembering your worth?
- Do something for you each day that makes you feel good and tap into your joy.
- Practicing speaking your truth and expressing what you really desire, even if it may feel uncomfortable.
- Knowing that this work is a daily and continuous process. It is a journey. Every single moment is an opportunity for self love!
Sabi has been able to excellently explore the depths of self love, and how finding our worth can make an immense difference on how we manage our relationships.
Click here to learn more about Sabi Kerr, and her role as a self love coach.
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